Further Cutbacks Due to our Struggling Economy!!!

WARNING!!!

The economy has had a severe impact on everyone! Every business has had to make much needed changes in order to save money and stay afloat.

That is why it is crucial to read, and understand everything you get in the mail. I recently found this out the hard way. My insurance company increased their co-pay from $10 to $15 on regular doctor visits. How do I know? Because when I got my new card in the mail, I saw that on the front of my card and immediately shoved it in my wallet.

I did not notice that in order to save money on mailings, they combined all of my doctors on one card.

Yesterday, I had to call my doctor to make a quasi emergency appointment rather than go to urgent care. The front office clerk answered the phone and I immediately told her that I needed to get into the doctor today if possible. She then asked me what seemed to be the problem so I told her my symptoms and hoped she would take mercy on me and allow me this one favor.

She then told me that she didn't think I was calling the right doctor. I explained that I have not been to see the doctor before, but my plan has switched me to him and I would really appreciate it if they could help me out. If not, could she advise an over the counter medication that would help until I get in to the doctor?

I was a little flustered when I heard her laughing. I could hear others in her office giggling too and I could not figure out what was so funny about my call??? Is that really how you treat new patients? What ever happened to customer service?

She finally got her wits about her and apologized to me for laughing. "I'm sorry mam! This is not your gynecologist, you have called your dentist"! She then went on to say..."You might load up on some Cranberry Juice!" And then proceeded to bust into a huge belly laugh!!!

I'm glad I could lift someones spirits with a laugh and a funny story to tell others during these hard economic times!

Belly Laugh

Every now and then I have the opportunity to drop my grandson off at his grade school. His school is the "Perfect Mommy Zone". All these fit and trim moms come jogging up in their cute little matching outfits with their kids in toe. They have no tummy, perfect little buts and they always wear pony tails. I come driving up wearing my sweats, jacked up hair, sleepy in the eyes with a coffee cup held strategically in front of my face so they don't recognize me and force me to acknowledge them. Even with the car hiding most of my body, I feel like they can see every offensive ounce of flesh over my goal weight. Now one would think that if I am concerned about those moms seeing all of my flaws, I would take the time to look a little more presentable in the morning, but obviously I live to humiliate myself! So as I pull away from the school, I notice that the door ajar light is on in the car. I pull over to the side to check little lift window at the back of the car. As I exit my SUV, I see a lady that I always see when I go to the school. I call her "Wonder Woman". She stops and says "HI" to me. We chit chat for a moment as her son runs up to the school. As I turn to get back in my car, I notice that my tee shirt has been up above my belly the whole time we talked. Any curiosity she had about how bad my belly looks is now resolved. After realizing that I have once again humiliated myself by not trying a little harder to look presentable, I just have to look down at my belly and laugh! My immediate thought is that I look like a Sumo Wrestler next to an anorexic. So as I break into a belly laugh and watch my tummy jiggle up and down, I realize that this is further reason to stick to my diet and loose more weight. But will I get up early enough to fix myself up a little more before I drop him off? Probably not!

Bathroom Etiquette

There is a particularly unique behavior that occurs in public restrooms. These behaviors are not taught, they are simply handed down from generation to generation through the examples of our bathroom peers. Men and women have similar and yet very different behavior rules once they enter that mysterious place called the public restroom. Men for example, like to keep a urinals distance between themselves. Women do the same thing, they just like to use a bathroom stall as the barrier between them.

Here are some common rules of the room:

1. The toilet seat is only wet when you don't use the bum gasket!

2. Stage fright always hits when others enter the bathroom!

3. Tis easier to drip dry than to ask for TP!

4. You can hold it until the moment you enter the stall!

5. Never chat at the urinal or once in the stall!

6. Farting is only allowed once securely positioned inside the stall!

7. The person walking in on you, is always more embarrassed than you are!

8. You can't walk out after dropping a deuce until everyone has left the
restroom!

9. Drinks and food are not allowed in the restroom. They will turn into poison!

10. Toilet paper will follow you anywhere!